Select Page

I Aint’ Ish, No Really

Good morning. I want to talk to you in the most honest way I know how. I really enjoy our time together. You make me laugh and you keep a smile on my face. Your energy is fantastic and when we are “together”, I can’t stop thinking about you. With that being said, I promise you my action will not match my words. I grew up enjoying the company of females……. so if we have sex, I will not know how to just smash/ fuck/ beat chops. Because I enjoy your company, I will do things like spend the night, send you little cards and go out to dinner and other places. Which is exactly what I was doing before we decided to fuck up some sheets up. I am an attentive person because that is what a good friend is though this my make me a special man, I promise it is not special enough to negate the fact that I told you that “I ain’t shit”.

I know you are wondering what makes me just come out and say this. It is probably because this is not my first time being a nice guy, having sex and being a good friend. You would think that is a recipe for magic. But the reality is that I know it is going to cause confusion and I want to get an understanding before it goes any further. I can be your friend, allowing us enjoy each other’s company with no issues. The need to be sexually active will not go away and I will probably be knocking someone else’s boots. We can just mutually please each other sexually, but that will not negate the need to have a close friendship with a person or people. Or we can be friends with benefits, but that will eventually cause a riff in our friendship because I still stick by my initial mindset that “I ain’t shit” aka “I am not looking for a relationship but we can keep doing what we are doing”, even if it is a nice way.

So what am I trying to tell you is no matter what you feel, this is not real. And since it is not real, there is a possibility that I am making someone else feel the same way at the same time, following the same rules. You would think my time management skills would not be that good, but they are. If you are going to love me, you need to love me with your head and not your heart. Also, understand I can fulfill long term, temporary positions. Like stripper in a strip club, I am selling fantasies. And like a dude in that club, you are trying to be that one in a hundred that actually pull and monogamously date one. And as nice as I am, I will not choose what you want over what I want. The rules of self-preservation always continually applies here.

Side note: Getting pregnant does not validate feeling. The condom broke or I just like the way it feels raw. It does not mean we have a deeper connection, it just means my little head ill-advised my bighead.

Side note: Just because I did that extra freaky shit just mean the force was strong and you have cute body parts.

Moral of the Story: If you want to play, don’t watch what I do, listen to what I say.

The Selfish Dude

What Does Success Look Like?

On this week’s episode The Selfish Dude joins us to take about success. We discuss what success means to us and how our views of success has changed over time. Also, Barxdale spends the first few minutes overjoyed about his acceptance into his Doctorate program. Please make sure to like and comment.

Ya’ll Are Not Together

StockSnap_ZRMGZ0TUTG

This may be the biggest secret that women know but don’t want to acknowledge. It is like putting a sexy R. Kelly song on repeat, then expecting that one semi-Christian song to play. Yeah, he has a conscious but the rest of his album is about getting that booty, rubbing that booty and fucking. Sure, his momma probably raised him right but the street eventually get him, one way or another. Maybe it he is really about that life, maybe it was the music or maybe it is just in his flesh, but it is there.

It does not matter what he say.

  • I just want to take time to get to know you more.
  • I enjoy when we are together, letting the situation grow naturally. (or any variation of this)
  • It feels so good not having everyone in our business. You know how people be.
  • I am excited to see where this goes
  • I can imagine doing this to forever. (while having sex or not)
  • I want us to be together but….. , I want us to be like this forever…… or Promise me that you will always …….
  • I like not having the pressure of a relationship.
  • I love you.

It does not matter what he does

  • Spends the night
  • Cooks breakfast
  • Plays with your kids
  • Take you shopping, pay a bill or take you on a trip
  • Talks about kids
  • Daydream with you about the future
  • Meet your parents, your best friend, go to church together, go to your family reunion
  • Listen to you claim that you are together
  • Treat his momma, aunt, sister, daughter, niece nice
  • Talk about what he will do if someone treats a woman in his family wrong

It does no matter what he says before, during, or after sex

  • Tell you he loves you.
  • Hit it raw with no condom.
  • Nut up in you (I swear this has to be the biggest trick of the devil. You tell him you want to feel it. He knows he shouldn’t but it fulfills his “Take this nut. Ughh, you nasty” fantasy).
  • You swallow.
  • He eats the pussy.
  • He eats your ass or you eat his ass.
  • Anything said with the 24 hours before or after you both had sex
  • Add any comment that you want to be a sucker for: ___________________________________

It does not even matter what his personality

  • Nice, patient, loving, caring, attentive, blah blah blah …………..blah blah

Until he says “We are together in an exclusive relationship where we are not dating other people or physically involved with other people” ya’ll are just fucking and he has no obligation in his head, heart or pants to you. He might care but there is nothing you can say to him to make him feel like he lied. He may have misled you, but just like misled and lied are spelled different, that is how different it is to us. Yeah, there are some letters that are shared, but they are not the same. It sounds good when looking to give him some of that “sweet pussy pie”, but you can not use your rationalization to keep giving him some of that pudding. But like a stripper selling dreams and fantasies, we are selling the same thing with a side of stiff dick.

Moral of the Story: I he is not claiming you, he just claiming that pussy with a side a friendship AKA “We Cool!”

-The Selfish Dude

HEAD, PLEASE AND THANK YOU

Making love is a beautiful thing. It allows you to be close to the one that you love. To look deep into her eyes, watch her fuck faces and watch her climax into infinity. You can turn her over and watch her bury her head into the sheets as her butt is tooted up in the air. It is a beautiful way to plant your seed deep into her bosom and procreate, bringing forth new life like plants in the field, replenishing the world and carrying on the family bloodline. People have been making loving since the beginning of time, which is why we are all here. Making love is such a stress relief.

But there is something to be said about head. I am not talking about that foreplay head or that head you give to finish off a sexual escapade. I’m talking about that “I had a long day” day head. That one sided head like “Let me take care of you and finish cooking dinner head” or that “ Let me suck you off right quick and go over the kids homework” head. That “Jump in the shower after a playing ball for 2 hours head”. People keep telling me hoes/thots are winning. That may be true in some cases, but I suspect head may be the culprit.

Don’t get me wrong. We love that you can cook. We appreciate how good of a mother you are. We love that you are career driven. We even love the deep conversation. Gifts are nice too. And we don’t want you to stop that but, rather and, we need something that drains our energy. We need something that requires no effort from us other than pulling down our pants. Something that makes us forget that anything else in the world exist. You would think sex does that, but sex is the transference of energy from one person to another. Head is energy being stolen. It is like someone temporarily stealing our soul for a moment in time, especially if you are doing it right. This is what your so called “Thots and Beckys” understand. They know no matter how fucked up they are, the head will make a man at least think twice. Random head that does not immediately turn into sex should be done once or twice a week. It is just the polite thing to do for your man. A lot of women are getting comfortable and forgetting about this beautiful gift, which cost nothing but a little time.

Disclaimer: This applies to wives, wifeys, and main chicks.

Moral of the Story: Want to be a winner, give some head for dinner.

The Selfish Dude

One Last Time

My momma used to say God is trying to warn you when you are doing something wrong. Well many people may not believe in Him. But have you ever noticed when you do something on last time that is when everything hits the fan. That is when everything goes bad. You have done something wrong a million times, but when you conscious finally gets to you and you say in your mind “I am going to do this one last time”, that is when everything fucks up. That last drink. That last key of coke. That last time you want to smash an old fling before settling down. That last $20 dollars you tried to steal out of the cash register from that job that sucks. That last 2 miles driving drunk, trying to make it to the house. You just had to cuss you boss out one last time.

That one last time never seems to be productive. You think it is a good idea because it has always worked before, but when you hear the “One last time” voice, you need to know that you are about to fuck up your life. That’s when you get locked up. That when you get the DUI. That is when coke monster makes you addicted. That is when she gets pregnant and takes you to court. That’s when you get caught on camera sticking that twenty twen twen in your pocket. That’s when instead if cussing your box out, you put those paws. That’s when the pussy get’s so good that you don’t know if you want to be with your wife or with your side chic/ your husband or that side nigga that is saying all that good shit in your ear and banging your back out.

It is always the little extra that fucks up the game. It’s always the greed that spoils the hustle. The moment when you go against what your mind is trying to tell you about your wrong doing, that is when trouble is around the corner. The universe is trying to warn you ……….. but go ahead with your dumb ass thoughts. You right. If you just do it one last time, everything will be alright. SIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moral of the story: Let the last time be the last time.

The Selfish Dude

Is He Really the Boss?

This week we take a look a look at Rick Ross’ new album “Rather You Than Me.” We discuss the controversial track, “Idols Become Rivals” which is about Birdman stealing from his artists. Gus actually admits he used to be a Rick Ross hater. The guys also touch on the motivating effect of trap music. Make sure to comment and subscribe.

We Talking About Juice

 

 

orange-1648769_1280

 

WE TALKING ABOUT JUICE

Maybe it’s just me. But this has to be the most ridiculous of all arguments. I swear this issue comes up in every the relationship I have been and it has been a sore spot for me ever since. “We talking about juice!” I swear as soon as this subject comes up, I start drinking water and will drink water until the relationship is over. “We talking about juice!” Matter of fact, it is so petty, that I will go out in the pouring rain or a snow storm just to buy eight bottles so I don’t have to hear your freaking mouth. (I dropped two of them and slipped on the ice, hitting my head, but was so mad that I didn’t care!) “We talking about juice!” It is Tuesday night and I know you not going to drink all of this juice with the little ass bottle of alcohol. I will replace it by then or if not, pick some more up from the store. I know you are going back before the end of the week!!!! Matter of fact, here goes 20 dollars. Ball out!!!!!

Here are the craziest conversations I have had.
“Orange juice is my breakfast juice so I just don’t want you to drink it all.”- Really. Really. It’s lunch. You buying food for dinner so pick your happy ass another bottle. Electricity powers the house and I wasn’t concerned with you taking all the energy with this high ass electric bill I have since you moved in.

“I knew once you didn’t replace the juice after you kept agreeing to buy more, you were not a man of your word.” But I picked you happy ass from work every day on time after I said I would. I put gas in your car and made sure it stayed cleaned without asking. I payed my half this rent you don’t pay to your momma for living in her house. Go sit yourself in the corner. You are on timeout.

“You opened my juice. I had plan for the juice. I was going to make drinks this weekend!” Well, I have plans to. To go to the supermarket and replace this good ass mixed berry juice that you got in the fridge. You mad? So what!!!! Oh, you are going to keep taking about this shit. Matter of fact, I will go to the store right now and don’t talk to me until we go to church on Sunday!!!! You need to go pray!!!!

Moral of the story: But we are talking about juice.

The Selfish Dude

Avoid the Sunken Place

This week we discuss Jordan Peele’s movie “Get Out.” We look at how the movie relates to real life and the movie’s symbolism. Also, we think the movie helped us figure out what happened to Kanye West and Lamar Odom. Please let us know what you think by leaving a comment. Intro/Outro produced by Kin Rich.

Is Biggie Overrated?

This week we take a look at the longstanding belief that Biggie Smalls AKA Notorious B.I.G. was the greatest rapper ever. We try to determine was he really the best of all time or was it that Puffy was a marketing genius. We even compare Biggie’s two albums with some of the other great albums of the time including, Nas’ “It Was Written”, Method Man’s “T.I.C.A.L.”, etc. Please take a listen and tell us your thoughts.

Get Right Before You Get Left

did-i-marry-the-wrong

 

Just imagine there is a behavior you continuously do, a situation you are continuously putting someone through or something you have to continuously apologize for. Most people think their significant other has some super power that enables them to understand their behavior or they have an overflow of love that allows them to deal with random bullshit. Some people just know that their significant other is a sucker for them, the other person is scared of losing them or they have come to the conclusion that they can not change you. But for every person that allows this behavior, there is a person who just doesn’t give a shit anymore.

When the things that used to bother them, doesn’t bother them anymore, you might want to consider that they are not really being patient. What you have playing in your mind may not be the real truth. Maybe they are staying because they have time invested in you. Maybe the sex is that good. Or maybe they are comfortable where they are and when they are no longer comfortable, they have already developed an exit plan. But the reality is that very often they don’t really care anymore. This does not mean they don’t love you, but they may not be in love with you anymore. Your expectation can not be that when you start acting right, everything is magically perfect. Your new found epiphany of righteousness may not positively affect their thoughts on the whole situation. Your recently developed divine behavior does not define when forgiveness is given and does not automatically make you a god among men.

Think of how many times this scenario has played out before or how long the scenario has been playing out. Sometimes it is just not enough. Sometimes the things they were willing to settle for then, they may no longer be willing to settle. It is amazing how when you are not getting the minimum from someone, the minimum is no longer enough once they get right. And sometimes you are just too late Moral of the story: Get right before you get left.

The Selfish Dude

Page 3 of 712345...Last »

Pin It on Pinterest