Maybe it’s just me. But this has to be the most ridiculous of all arguments. I swear this issue comes up in every the relationship I have been and it has been a sore spot for me ever since. “We talking about juice!” I swear as soon as this subject comes up, I start drinking water and will drink water until the relationship is over. “We talking about juice!” Matter of fact, it is so petty, that I will go out in the pouring rain or a snow storm just to buy eight bottles so I don’t have to hear your freaking mouth. (I dropped two of them and slipped on the ice, hitting my head, but was so mad that I didn’t care!) “We talking about juice!” It is Tuesday night and I know you not going to drink all of this juice with the little ass bottle of alcohol. I will replace it by then or if not, pick some more up from the store. I know you are going back before the end of the week!!!! Matter of fact, here goes 20 dollars. Ball out!!!!!

Here are the craziest conversations I have had.
“Orange juice is my breakfast juice so I just don’t want you to drink it all.”- Really. Really. It’s lunch. You buying food for dinner so pick your happy ass another bottle. Electricity powers the house and I wasn’t concerned with you taking all the energy with this high ass electric bill I have since you moved in.

“I knew once you didn’t replace the juice after you kept agreeing to buy more, you were not a man of your word.” But I picked you happy ass from work every day on time after I said I would. I put gas in your car and made sure it stayed cleaned without asking. I payed my half this rent you don’t pay to your momma for living in her house. Go sit yourself in the corner. You are on timeout.

“You opened my juice. I had plan for the juice. I was going to make drinks this weekend!” Well, I have plans to. To go to the supermarket and replace this good ass mixed berry juice that you got in the fridge. You mad? So what!!!! Oh, you are going to keep taking about this shit. Matter of fact, I will go to the store right now and don’t talk to me until we go to church on Sunday!!!! You need to go pray!!!!

Moral of the story: But we are talking about juice.

The Selfish Dude

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