This week we started off discussing TK’s Instagram post that stated,”Good pu$$y will make a man violent.” Barxdale definitely didn’t agree with that statement. Fortunately or unfortunately(depends how you see it), the episode went a little left after the first ten minutes. In the midst of the foolishness TK gave us insight on what these weirdos do inside her DMs and sometimes in real life. Make sure to subscribe and comment.
Don’t get too comfortable……… No matter how old
Let me tell you a story. So I am messing with this old head. Let’s call her Kamisha. She is about forty-three. She got a body like a twenty-five year old. Her own place. Raised her kids and currently raising her sister’s kids. She has her own house, two cars, works and goes to school. We on the same playing field, so even though I am in a dedicated long distance relationship, you know me, I am thinking this might be a good look temporarily until my long distance relationship turns into something more (yes, this is absolutely wrong but I couldn’t help myself—bad habits die hard). Plus, she live is Las Vegas, which is like my second home.
We start off as friends. She lets me borrow a car while I am there, plus I can crash at the house. So, I am partying in Vegas and we hang out a little bit. As time goes on, I go from sleeping in a separate bedroom to sleeping in her bedroom. Each visit to Vegas becomes a trip where I can party and still come to her house and have some guaranteed “buns” to smash. Let’s call them honey buns. Matter of fact, sweet cakes. Matter of fact…you get what I am saying!
Now, I figure we are two mature people. I know we should not be having unprotected sex, but we have both gone to get this medical paperwork verifying our clean bill of health (that STD check) and she is on birth control (that is what she told me), so we start fucking raw dog with no protection. I’m beating cakes like there is no tomorrow. I am figuring that we are friends with extreme benefits. I’m high fiving myself and looking at my job well done as I put her ass to sleep time after. She doesn’t care what I do or so I think.
Well, eventully my long distance relationship comes to live with me, but before she does, you know me, I have to smash Kamisha more time. Ok, several more times on this four day weekend. On day two of this weekend, everything comes to light. She sees the message from my lady. Kamisha goes crazy BUT we fuck like it is the last time for the next two days, doing things we have never done before. Now, I should have known something was going to go wrong.
Three months later she tells me she is pregnant. I send her money for the abortion. Nine months later she tells me she had the baby. She says she wants me to be happy, so don’t tell my lady, but she knows I am a good father. So, I start paying her child support. She says she does not want it but she keeps. Things are what they are. I tell my lady and we break up. Seven months goes by and I am getting pictures all the time, but because of my job, I have not been able to visit yet, but we are skyping three times a week.I go to meet up with a mutual friend and he says, “Dog, she ain’t got no baby, that is her grandchild. She has done this to other guys! She told me and my wife she was going to get you back for playing with her heart.”
I look at her social media page and her daughter’s social media page—same baby. She must have been babysitting her grandchild at night or something. I try to see if there is a birth certificate or social security card. She refuses to show me. Then, she asks me to leave me and her family alone.
Where did I go wrong? I got too comfortable. I should have never taken the condom off. I should have never thought I was the only one playing games. I should have never thought I could play house and her feeling were not going to get involved. I never saw the games she was going to play. I lost my whole relationship over some random, but very good pussy. She got thousands of dollars from me. Age never determines a person’s mindset. They can be as crazy as they come. I had to learn, when you playing the game, you must keep playing.
Moral of the story: When you start a game playing chess, don’t try to start playing checkers. Don’t get too comfortable!!!
The Selfish Dude
Come out to see our live podcast show. This is the second year we’ve participated in the Philadelphia Podcast Festival. It’ll be a great time with good people, food and drinks. We’ll be at Tatto0ed Mom, 530 South St, Philadelphia, PA 19147 on 7/22/17 at 2pm.
This week on the Stay Talking Ish podcast show we discuss the hit show “Power” on Starz. We give our thoughts on past seasons as well as what’s going on now. We take a look at the relationship between Ghost and Tommy. We express our hate for Angela and Tariq. And spend a little time trying to figure out why Andre won’t just put a bullet in Kanaan’s head. Towards the end we give our predictions on what will happen by the end of season 4. Make sure to listen, subscribe and leave a comment.
This week we have TK joining the Stay Talking Ish podcast. Hopefully, she can balance out all the misogyny coming from one particular host of the show. We discuss the hype surrounding the new album dropped by Jay-Z, 4:44. Take a listen to find out what grade we gave the album and if it deserves to be considered a classic.
This week on the Stay Talking Ish podcast we share an interview we did with the daughter of Maggie Bozeman.
In 1979, Pickens County(Alabama) officials accused Maggie Bozeman and her longtime friend Julia Wilder of casting absenteeballots for 39 senior residents without their permission. All-white state-court juries convicted both black women of vote fraud. Bozeman and Wilder denied any wrongdoing, and the convictions sparked national outrage.
When the two were jailed in 1982, civil rights activists organized a procession from Montgomery to the Pickens county courthouse of Carrollton. Bozeman and Wilder spent fifteen days in prison and ten months in a work-release center before being paroled. the combination of pressure from protesters and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, also as media coverage, brought attention to the case—and, ultimately, a federal choose threw out the cases against both.
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I am learning a rough lesson in this relationship/ marriage thing. What is that lesson you might ask. She is lying. She is lying. She is lying. Maybe that is being tough on women. Maybe I am just being extra selfish in my comments today…….. but unless she is showing you documents and her actions match her words (or what you need) the whole year prior to you getting marriage, she is lying. And IF she is not lying to you, YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF nigga.
I knew that she was not the perfect one. The first two years had been perfect but the second two years had been rocky. This is where I first started lying to myself. Lie number one. I thought she could be the person she used to be. Whoever that person is not, that who you can expect to be with. They say it takes 66 days to create a habit (unlike the common belief that it takes 3 weeks). So if she has been acting a certain way for more than 2 months, THAT’S THE REAL HER!!! Don’t get stuck in the over sentimental memories of how things used to be or sweet memories, that lady has moved on and that chic that stands before you is the real her. The old her has moved on and whatever is before you is what you got. Don’t be a fool!!!
I made a list of things that I needed for a successful relationship a month out from getting married. I should have made that list a year out but I will blame it on the long distance relationship. Just know that if you have made a list of things that you need in a relationship or marriage, you already know what you are missing. And if she gives you a quick verbal yes, as Tommy said in the movie Belly “The bitch is lying!” This is lie number two. She is lying to you and you are lying to yourself! My list was simple from a man’s point of view.
1. Healthy cooking and going to the gym together.
2. Non foreplay head. Just because head.
3. Financial responsibility.
4. A smile and a kiss when I come in the house.
5. Her having a job. We agreed this was not going to be a housewife type situation.
6. Better communication.
7. A quiet space for me.
Guess what our issues are still. Matter if fact. We will call them my issues because I am tired of arguing.
1. Why is she cooking this big pan of brownies but only eating one. She know I love brownies. And why am I paying for this Planet Fitness membership that she hasn’t used in months. (She does cook better sometimes)
2. Still no head and I ain’t begging anymore.
3. She won’t ask for money when she needs it but every time I drive the family car, she complains I am using up all her gas.
4. I am still reminding her about his kiss and smile thing.
5. That job thing is still an issue but we are working on it.
6. She acts like not talking about something makes the issue go away.
7. I am now in the kids room since they are gone for the summer. I put the Apple TV in the living room with the cable. She moved it back. She watches TV in both rooms and she gets mad when I am in the kids room for quietness.
She never consciously planned on changing. She just gave me a quick answer.
Pacification – Lie number three
I can’t say she never changed. I just can say that the change was not permanent. During the rough times when I considered breaking up with her and we went to counseling, we had periods of bliss. But it was short lived. After I was no longer a bother and things seemed to get better, things returned to the way they were. So that really is just pacifying the situation. Which means she does not really plan on changing, she is just trying to fix the situation for the moment. Basically she is lying about changing. Don’t be a sucker.
If she cannot share her bank account statement with you, not only is she lying about being financially stable, but she is broke. Flat broke. If her car break down she can’t afford to get her car fixed, broke. She is living paycheck to paycheck, broke. And there is nothing wrong with being broke unless you are LYING about being broke. Lie number four. A person in a serious relationship is willing to show bank statements proving her financial stability. If she doesn’t, you will have arguments about who is paying for dinner, gas money, why she is broke for the month and using your card to order things online. We are assuming you are a trustworthy man who is financially stable yourself and won’t try to steal her money.
I could go on and on but I think I have made my point. If you wouldn’t hire her for a job and not that Stevie J type hiring, you might want to be honest with yourself. If you take away the sex and the love emotions, and you not left with much, you might want to be honest with yourself. If you not getting sloppy toppy because she likes giving sloppy toppy, nigga it ain’t worth it …… I mean you might want to be honest with yourself. And if she lying in the relationship, while you are trying in the relationship, you might want to be honest with yourself.
Moral of the story: If the relationship don’t fit, it’s better to quit.
~ The Selfish Dude ~
Valerie Castile, Philando Castille’s mother, gave an passionate speech at a televised press conference where she spoke truth to power, but kept her comments clean enough for the public. But, on Facebook live, Valerie let it all go.
This week on the Stay Talking Ish podcast The Selfish Dude joins us to talk about the Power of the Pleasure Box. We discuss if the pleasure box really holds that much power and where that power comes from. We speak on why men act the way they do when they get some good “ooowee.” Also , Barxdale warns some woman not to overrate their pleasure box. Make sure to comment and subscribe.
Good morning. I want to talk to you in the most honest way I know how. I really enjoy our time together. You make me laugh and you keep a smile on my face. Your energy is fantastic and when we are “together”, I can’t stop thinking about you. With that being said, I promise you my action will not match my words. I grew up enjoying the company of females……. so if we have sex, I will not know how to just smash/ fuck/ beat chops. Because I enjoy your company, I will do things like spend the night, send you little cards and go out to dinner and other places. Which is exactly what I was doing before we decided to fuck up some sheets up. I am an attentive person because that is what a good friend is though this my make me a special man, I promise it is not special enough to negate the fact that I told you that “I ain’t shit”.
I know you are wondering what makes me just come out and say this. It is probably because this is not my first time being a nice guy, having sex and being a good friend. You would think that is a recipe for magic. But the reality is that I know it is going to cause confusion and I want to get an understanding before it goes any further. I can be your friend, allowing us enjoy each other’s company with no issues. The need to be sexually active will not go away and I will probably be knocking someone else’s boots. We can just mutually please each other sexually, but that will not negate the need to have a close friendship with a person or people. Or we can be friends with benefits, but that will eventually cause a riff in our friendship because I still stick by my initial mindset that “I ain’t shit” aka “I am not looking for a relationship but we can keep doing what we are doing”, even if it is a nice way.
So what am I trying to tell you is no matter what you feel, this is not real. And since it is not real, there is a possibility that I am making someone else feel the same way at the same time, following the same rules. You would think my time management skills would not be that good, but they are. If you are going to love me, you need to love me with your head and not your heart. Also, understand I can fulfill long term, temporary positions. Like stripper in a strip club, I am selling fantasies. And like a dude in that club, you are trying to be that one in a hundred that actually pull and monogamously date one. And as nice as I am, I will not choose what you want over what I want. The rules of self-preservation always continually applies here.
Side note: Getting pregnant does not validate feeling. The condom broke or I just like the way it feels raw. It does not mean we have a deeper connection, it just means my little head ill-advised my bighead.
Side note: Just because I did that extra freaky shit just mean the force was strong and you have cute body parts.
Moral of the Story: If you want to play, don’t watch what I do, listen to what I say.
The Selfish Dude